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May
9, 2006
Una soda, por favor
I
love when I wake up with a song in my head... this morning it is
The Refreshments (see sidebar for lyrics). Geoff woke up with an
Ozzy Osbourne song in his head and he's singing alternative lyrics
to it for the Gordon Show.
Oh
-- speaking of which, this morning I had to take 20 minutes out
of my life to find the guinea pig. Geoff decided to put him on the
livingroom floor so he could run around a little bit. Then, he left
the room to go get a tissue.
I
asked him (well, more like YELLED at him) what he was thinking.
He said "I left Jackie in charge of him."
Yeah.
The dog isn't a guinea pig watch dog. And how would he stop the
guinea pig, or alert us that there is a problem?
Sometimes,
that boy don't think past his belly, I tell you what.
A
guinea pig is like a prison convict waiting for opportunity. The
guard is down, the jig is up, the chase begins. Weeks of planning
all lead up to that one moment when eyes and expectations are different.
Dude
took off and ended up hiding under the couch.
We
have a sectional, and I was afraid of moving one of the pieces and
having him run under another... and I was afraid of moving a piece
and crushing him to death. I was also afraid that he was eating
candy wrappers and dust bunnies... both of which seem to end up
between, beneath, behind the sections of this couch.
Parents
-- here's a free tip for you... never buy a sectional. Your kids
will tuck candy wrappers between the sections rather than walk them
to the trash. And you will yell at them for years. And they will
STILL do it.
I
hate this couch, and want to get rid of it. But that's a rant for
another day.
Luckily,
I figured out a way to trap him and Doug pulled up on the recliner
section. I was able to get him out in front of the couch and stopped
him with the side of my giant foot, thus preventing him from tearing
under the next sectional piece.
The
Gordon Show ended early today. I have not had enough coffee to do
this.
Geoff
is upset that I'm not going to let him get his own guinea pig now.
He is on the couch crying now. "I let the pig get away and
now I'll never get my own.. Curses! Curse the way I do things and
my irresponsibility!" (yes, that is exactly what he is saying.
I'm typing as he's crying. It's funny and sad at the same time).
I
had promised him once we got to the next house and got settled that
we'd get him his own pet, because he's done such a good job of taking
care of Gordon. He plays with him much more than Jess does. He feeds
him, he sings to him. The pig likes him... and I think this one
incident won't ruin that for him. I'll let him suffer for a little
while, and then go talk to him.
While
we are on the topic of Geoff...
On
Thursday of last week he got into a spot of trouble at school. Lately,
Geoff has been swearing a lot. The boys like to get him started,
and then they go tell on him. Which is fantastic. This happens when
they are playing at cub scouts, or on the playground at recess.
They'll come up to me and say "Geoff just said H-E-Double Hockey
Sticks!"
Yeah.
Like you never say hell, you little angel. You
probably said "Hey Geoff, say HELL!"
So
anyway, Thursday he gets caught saying the F word. Yes, the Queen
Mother of all Swear Words. F dash dash dash. His special ed aide
catches him and takes him to the assistant principal, with whom
Geoff has a very good relationship and a nice bond.
She
says to the AP, "We seem to be swearing a lot lately on the
playground."
Geoff
says "WHO IS THIS WE?!?!" and with the WE he puts
giant quotation marks up around his head and bends his fingers.
"WE (does the quotation marks thing again) are not swearing.
You didn't swear on the play ground. I am the on swearing on the
playground! You didn't do ANYTHING."
Gotta
love Mister Literal.
So
he got a talking to and a day's recess suspension. He said to the
AP "I have an addiction. A bad habit. And it's hard to break
a habit, you know."
So
my son has admitted his addiction to swearing. Intervention and
rehab start now.
I
told him that he can 'beep' himself the way that they do on TV when
people swear. He can say "What the 'beeeeeep!'" and I
won't get mad. He can't spell it (he spells Damn as "D A M
M!" which cracks me up). He can beep or he can say nothing.
We'll
see if this works.
So
the guy who is buying our house (neighbor cousin) is coming by today
to start painting and doing rehab work in the upstairs apartment.
His
crew is rained out at work, and he figured in order to get it rentable
by June 1 he'd want to do the paint and paper and stuff all before
then. We gave him permission, and he's going to come up today and
tomorrow. I'm meeting him to give him the keys today.
The
reality of everything has swooped down on me this week. I feel like
my head is going to explode. We move in just a couple of weeks.
And it seems that I'm the only one really taking the packing seriously.
I had my first bad dream about the move (I will have many more,
rest assured) the other day.
There
I am -- knee deep in toys and kitchen items, boxes of food, books,
and all kinds of detritus... wading through the house calling out
for anyone to come help me pack. I'm calling out for boxes. Anyone!
Where's Doug! And I look out the window and he's by the fire pit.
He has a garbage truck -- a huge yellow garbage truck -- parked
beside him. And he is shovelling out garbage and putting it on the
burn pile. I'm all like "That isn't our trash! Why is he spending
time doing THAT!?! I need him in here! Packing Stuff!" and
I start pounding on the window, yelling and calling him in the house.
But he plods along slowly, pulling out a scoop of garbage, and dumping
it on the fire.
It
is a very telling dream.
Anyway
-- We'll be alright. I figure this weekend I will really put the
heat on and start yelling at people. We have a list of things that
MUST BE DONE! and papers from a lawyer, and all kinds of things
to take care of.
Hopefully
no more guinea pig incidents will get in the way.
And
before I go, I
will mutter. A couple days instead of five weeks late.
1. Represent :: atives
2. Mumbling :: muttering!
3. Meetup :: Flickr or blog meetups
4. Tantalizing :: tittliating (is that a word?)
5. Fake :: Boobies!
6. Dale :: Gribble
7. Deny :: Bart Simpson "I didn't do it."
8. Calories :: Cupcakes
9. Roll :: tootsie
10. 44 :: an age I'll be in 4 and 1/2 years.
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