There was a woman on the news the other night who was rather upset. She was crying. The poor thing. She just spent over 500 dollars on four tickets for her family to go to the upcoming Patriots' pre-season game. And she was sadly revealing that they would not be able to attend, because of the corporate greed of the Pats and the Stadium.

Corporate Greed! Oooooh. Tell me more!

After she bought her tickets, she called the stadium to ask where she could breastfeed her 3 month old son. A reasonable question. Where amongst the 75,000 fans could she go for a minute of nursing privacy.

She planned on bringing the tyke to his first game, to teach him from the earliest moments the true meaning of being a fan. The person on the phone didn't tell her "No, you can't breastfeed here!"

The person on the phone asked her, "You are aware that your son needs to have a ticket to come into the game, aren't you?"

She bought four tickets for her family, and assumed the baby, the fifth family member, would get in free. No, her baby didn't have a ticket to get into the game... because she figured that like most places on God's Green Earth (airplanes, Fenway Park, and Disney World) the Patriots allow infants free access to the park as long as they are tiny enough to sit on mommy's lap.

But that's not the way the Pats roll. Every head requires a ticket to get into the stadium. End. Of. Conversation.

She spent over 500 dollars on four tickets, and now she can't go to the game because she's breastfeeding and junior won't take a bottle and she can't leave him behind. Weep. Sob. She feels the Pats and Gillette don't give a shit about the fans, that they're moneygrubbing hogs who are only concerned with every last penny they can bring in.

Well duh? Of course they are. What were you thinking? As Ed says at the end of Million Dollars on the live version, say it with me Barenaked Ladies fans, "Lady, you're an IDIOT!"

Just because an airline allows you to schlep your screaming, mewling baby onto the flight as long as you keep it on your lap and you don't have to buy a ticket means nothing. Just because freaking Disney World, who charges EVERYONE in the family two hundred bucks to get in and stand in line for 40 minutes for a 5 second ride, doesn't mean the Patriots or management of Gillette Stadium HAVE to do it too. Do. Your. Research. Before. Making. A. Purchase. GOD!!

By the way. Who would bring a 3 month old to Gillette Stadium in the first place, for pete's sake! That is the thing that I really can't wrap my head around. I won't even take my 8 year old to a live game because the fans all are drunk and puking and throwing things. I love the Pats as much as the next fan, but really. Who wants to deal with a 3 month old in that kind of environment? What if the baby can't deal with the screaming and cheering? Where do you go to make it happy? I know the screaming baby won't bother the average Joe Fan who is also screaming his head off in the stands so that isn't an issue really. He won't be able to be heard above the din of the crowd as they freak out for two whole hours.

As a parent, knowing the right environment to bring the baby to at that age is key. Basic, elementary parenting. Don't bring your infant to a football stadium, a NASCAR event, a Meth Fueled Rave. There are others, but I think those cover the basic "these are obvious" examples. The living room is the place for junior fanboy to enjoy his first taste of the Dynasty.

Nowhere else, unless you're batshit crazy.

This woman needs to learn a lesson in finding a clue. Assuming that things are going to be the way you personally think they should be makes an ass out of you in the end, lady. The Patriots owe her, or me, or any of us, nothing.

Oh, oh yeah -- I almost forgot the best part of the interview. The Pats brass were willing to work with her, according to the talking head on the news. They told her she could buy a $49 bleacher ticket, just to get him into the building. But her response was that a working family just couldn't afford that kind of expense.

What the hell?

Honey, you just paid $500 for FOUR TICKETS! What's another fiddy? Seriously. You didn't do your research BEFORE buying the tickets. You reject their offer and cry on the news. What now. After committing the cardinal sin of stupid people -- calling the news to get your sob story on the screen, what do you expect? That the Pats are going to roll over and let you and the baby in because you cried on TV and they interviewed a few people on the street who said they think that the policy is unfair?

They make the exception for you, lady, and then they have to make the exception for everyone. And parenting gets dumbed down yet another notch. Thanks.

Policies and rules are in place for a reason. Not to punish the fan, but to maintain a certain level of business operation stability. If you disagree with the policy, write the front office, start a petition, or better yet -- BOYCOTT and get all your friends to do it to.

To be completely honest, as a mom I never would bring my baby into a stadium filled with rabid fans. In this day and age, it is far safer to stay at home with the baby and enjoy from home. Nurse openly, put the baby to sleep if he falls into slumber, talk on the phone with your friends about what a great game it is.

Get over yourself. I'm sorry. If one cannot research the policy before making a purchase, God help your kids because you're pretty stupid. Caveat Emptor. Look it up.

Money talks, but unfortunately crying on TV lately talks a lot louder. Wah wah wah. Everyone Waah. That's what our society has come to.

Fuh.